Welcome to #FATANDEATING DAY 2, I have a unique relationship with food one that has spanned 26 years and has seen many highs and lows. One that has often been regulated by others. By society, by my peers, my diets, by allusions of what ‘I could be’, by ideals of what ‘I need to look like’ and also for a long while controlled by an eating disorder which deprived me and punished me because I never once thought I deserved to eat for enjoyment. Fat people especially are told we are gluttonous and eat too much right? So therefore the idea of eating for enjoyment seems so intangible to a lot of us. But food is enjoyment, it’s birthdays, memories, favourite recipes, comfort, joy and love. It’s sensory and delicious. I’ve met so many people with tumultuous relationships with food via the work I do online. I’ve met so many people who believe they have to eat a certain way to achieve something. Self worth, acceptance, love or happiness. They believe being fat and eating for enjoyment means that they have failed.

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The ideas we have around food are disordered and harmful. They put you in categories about what you deserve. The size of your body affects this. If you’re fat you need to deprive yourself. You are unworthy of food for enjoyment and must only eat “healthy”. But what is healthy, why are we so obsessed with believing that fat people eat so differently to thin people when the evidence clearly shows this is not true? Why are we all so afraid of food, look for absolution in the right diet and proof that we are good people by how we consume? My exploration into intuitive eating and the idea of food for joy has sparked many morsels of experiences I didn’t think possible. I’ve beat an eating disorder. I’ve beat my internal punisher. I’ve beat the societal imposed ideals made to prison me. I’ve beat it but not all of us beat it. Many of us fat people are still stuck in a fear and guilt that enjoyment in food is why are bodies are “wrong”. But you’re not wrong, you’re amazing. Do you eat for enjoyment let’s discuss why or why not in the comments?