Day 4 of my #FATANDLOVED series, if your partner is ashamed of your fat body. If they hide you, prohibit you, shame you or hurt you they do not deserve you. Your partner should be a mirror of kindness and show your body the utmost respect. I remember a long time ago I had a crush on a boy who called me and I quote “not thin enough, blonde enough or smart enough to date”. I carried that with me for a while. I carried this deep belief from the world that being a fat person meant that not only was my body shameful to myself but it was also shameful to those who loved me. Living in shame is no way to live. Being in a relationship that involves shame is also no way to live. If your partner does anything less than celebrate the fact they are with you then you deserve better. The people who subscribe to giving love under conditions because of what you look like DO NOT DESERVE YOU. Too many of us in fat bodies have been hidden, kept on the down low and been used to fulfil someone’s desires without respect. Walk out of the shame and into the light. Walk into the sunlight, let the warmth fill you and know that love can exist without shame. Love with shame is not love.