Fat and Loved Day 1

Welcome to a 5 day photo series called #FATANDLOVED which aims to show the experience of having my body loved by my partner. Not because I am fat & not in a way that fetishises my body. This 5 day photo series aims to celebrate body diversity in couples with fat partners & explores what it means to be fat & in love. To challenge the assumptions that people make & to unravel the way cis-men are often labelled heroes for giving fat womxn the time of day.

Day 1, I’ve always been afraid that if I loved someone some day they would touch my belly. Now this post isn’t about Cameron “accepting me” or any hetero-normative shitty celebration of “a thinner guy loves a curvy woman bullshit”. While yes he does love me that is not an achievement for me to celebrate him. It does not make him a hero. It means he loves me & that is all. This post is about acknowledging body insecurities & that they affect how we let our partners see us, touch us & experience us. For the longest time I hated my stomach I imagined slicing it cleanly off. I imagined a flat stomach one that would concave in when I sat. I wished to be small…

Love this series? Help me to continue my online work and activism by becoming an iamdaniadriana Patron and receive rewards for doing so. 

I wished to be tiny. I hated touching my own stomach & I hated when someone else touched it. I didn’t see this stomach represented in women that is, unless of course, they were pregnant. I felt shame deep shame that this stomach was mine. That it represented a body that was not deemed feminine unless carrying life inside it BUT stomachs like mine exist. Bellies that are large & protrude. It is not seen as a form of femininity, it is seen as something to hide & conceal. To glide over or suck in. To distract from & to be ashamed of. This is a celebration of tummies like mine. The ones that roll & expand. The ones that push out. I used to feel as if this piece of me was separate. It was unloved. Once I learned to touch it with respect, cherish it with love and accept it’s shape in all its glory it was then touching my belly became about kindness. You may never fall in love with the parts of you society taught us to hate but you can find body neutrality, sit in acceptance & be touched with kindness.