Day 3 of #FATANDLOVED when you think of your fat body where do you feel the most safe? For me it’s held in the arms of this man. Not because he makes me feel “better” about my body or like we discussed yesterday because he loves my body and is positioned by society as the “hero” in my story but because he understands the fact that in many situations with many people I don’t feel safe. I feel safe here in my community with all of you. I feel safe with him because he loves me and understands me. Yet out there in the diet culture world, around new people I don’t always feel safe. I feel unsafe on planes. I feel unsafe in spaces I need to sit close to others who aren’t fat. Fatness and safety is intertwined with acceptance and love, why? Because for the most part society has ingrained fat phobia in us all and this produces fat hatred. The “O Word epidemic” is a perfect example of how fat phobia translates into medical fat hatred.
They want to exterminate our bodies regardless of listening to the facts surrounding weight bias and true “health”. My fat and loved series isn’t just about relationship love but love for yourself and questioning where you find safety in the world as a fat person. For me intimacy isn’t possible without safety. For me intimacy isn’t love without safety. It make sense that those of us who have bodies which have been marginalised feel unsafe in loving spaces even if they are real because we have been made to not only fear our bodies but others and their treatment of us. That is why I’m forever grateful for this space and the ability to connect with other fat positive people who understand the nuances of needing safe spaces to exist. Unconditional love. Unconditional understanding. We are fat and loved. You are fat and loved. Fat and love in couples needs to be represented because so often are fed the idea we should be grateful for kindness shown towards our bodies. Nope I demand that as a basic right for fat people. Stop telling us fat people to be grateful for basic respect. Stop telling us we don’t deserve epic love stories. Stop telling us that our bodies are unworthy of love from others and ourselves. Our bodies are fat and loved.